Nothing to live for
by Neonmassacarexx
Summary: Harry is tired, his love is dead and he has served his sole purpose. What else is there? SLASH Cedric/Harry and very minor Sirius/Remus. Suicide. Reviews ar like hugs !


The tears kept coming; they mingled with the scarlet blood, blood that oozed out of my wrist in white hot numbness, and dripped onto the stone floor.

_Flashback_

_Harry ran through the deserted Hogwarts corridors. It was Christmas Eve and Harry was the only Gryffindor in residence of the tower. He skidded to an abrupt stop as he neared the RoR. Cedric was late, he thought as he checked the time on his battered watch. The older Hufflepff boy had sent him a note to meet him thee. Why, Harry didn't know. Neither did he know why his heart was beating rapidly in his ribcage. "Hey! Harry!" The messy haired younger boy turned on his heel and came face to face with Cedric, who had two brooms in his hand. Cedric grinned and Harry returned the sentiment. _

"_So, I was wondering if you wanted to play some Quidditch, but seeing as its raining…" Cedric trailed off as he raised his eyes upwards. Mistletoe. Worse, MAGIC mistletoe. Both boys were glued to the spot, it was either kiss, or stay here until Christmas was over, the latter didn't seem so un appealing. A hand brushed against the side of Harrys face, he moved where it was guiding him, the dazzling blue eyes of one Cedric Diggory, involuntarily two sets of lips pressed against eachother…_

Cedric, I thought, I'm so sorry. The knife in my hand suddenly felt heavy, I looked at it and blinked slowly. I was so tired, my eyelids were heavy, there was a clatter as the knife slipped out my hand and onto the floor, and it landed in the pool of red. My eyes closed and I slumped down on to the bed.

Knock! Knock! "Harry? C'mon Pup! It's time for breakfast!" Remus's voice was muffled through the wooden door,

"M…kay" I said back groggily. I stretched, and then winced, there was a silvery scar across the inside of my fore arm, barely visible against my pale skin, and my magic must have acted through the night. I shook my head. Stupid, I said to myself, this needs to stop. I jumped out of bed, but my foot landed in something wet, and red. Muttering a cleaning spell on both myself and the floor, I walked out the door.

"Morning, Cub!" Sirius greeted me as I walked into the kitchen. As soon as he had been freed, he and Remus had bought this house, not too far away from the Burrow. I smiled at Sirius and sat down in my seat, as I rubbed the sleep out of my eye, the pain seared through the scar. I must have had some sort of reaction, because Sirius said: "Something wrong with your arm, Pup?" I shook my head and poured myself some cereal.

Sirius looked at me funny all through breakfast. But said nothing. Eventually, I was sent up to get changed, apparently, Sirius and Remus had stuff to do, so they were dropping me off in muggle London. I wore my black skinnies, found a green and grey striped polo, (It was a present from Cedric, he told me it matched my eyes) put eyeliner on, but didn't bother to straighten my hair, too much effort.

"See ya!" I called as the taxi drove off. Three hours and £60 to spend. Fun.

The CD store was empty, just me and a couple staff members at the till. Sirus had bought me an IPod and a laptop for Christmas, I stared at the My chemical Romance Cd's, but which one to buy? Well, I thought-

"Ahhhhhh!" A woman's piercing scream sliced deep into the air, I spun round, dropping the Cd in the process. There were three people, all wearing black hoodies, jeans, leather gloves and balaclavas. One of them started to walk over to me. My heart beat rapidly. It thudded and thundered until I thought that my pulse was visible through my neck. He had a gun.

Pushing me to the floor, he held the gun to my temple, and started to push me to the floor. I'm not sure why, but I did it. Perhaps it was fear that restricted me from pulling my wand out from my pocket and stunning this beast. I Heard the gun cock, the sound so audible, to me it was louder than anything, there was no other sounds but the till being smashed open and the clank of tinny change. The staff members were probably in the same situation as I was, but I didn't dare look, too frightened to open my eyes.

My thoughts turned to Cedric, I knew how he felt. Finally.

BANG! A gun sounded, my eyes shot open. I wasn't dead. The police burst in, the man who was pointing the gun at me was collapsed on the floor. Relief, relaxation, and most frighteningly, disappointment flooded over me. I was alive…

Remus and Sirius sent anxious glances at me all the way home. I said nothing. I sat with my hands folded in my lap and stared out the window. They had picked me up from the hospital, and had refused to let me make a statement, said they wanted me to go home. Remus had tears streaming down his face; I looked up at him (which was hard seeing as he's almost as small as me) and tried to smile. I failed miserably.

It made me realise, Cedric, that my life is un important. I've served my purpose. Voldermort is dead. That's the only reason I was kept alive. When Severus showed me his memories, I suppose was when I started to realise. I wasn't even meant to last the fourteen years I did. I love you. Sirius and Remus have a baby of their own on the way, they don't need me. But I need you. That's why I'm doing this. So we can be together again. How Emo! The train is coming now. I'll see you soon. I love you…

**A/N: Lemme know what you think!**

**The review button is our friend!**


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